Let's kick cancer in the butt!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up 04.51 this morning feeling very thankful and grateful right before being flooded with a reminder my race for life 5k run is just three days away!!!! Whoop Whoop!!!!!

My desire to complete this challenge dates back to January 2012. http://misscocobrown.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/race-for-life-challenge.html.

October 2011, I lost my father to a very short but aggressive battle to cancer. This is the most painful event EVER!!!!! Like I stated in my previous post, I have been fortunate to nurse patients with cancer and been able to empathise with their families without even thinking it would come knocking on my doorstep. 

Eventually it did and took my father.

Once I was able to keep my grieving in check, I decided I will definitely play my part in finding a cure to cancer no matter how small. Fast forward eighteen months later, I'm three days away from my 5k Race for Life run and very excited about it. 

Please support my 5k run, at https://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/Cocotolu/?utm_source=DM&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2013_InSer_PreR4 and lets kick Cancer in the butt!!!!!

Testing the goods?!?!?!?!?!

Following recent conversations and situations which have happened, I find myself asking do you believe in testing out your partner’s sexual abilities before marriage???????

Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean testing out if your partner can do acrobatics in bed or wherever you choose (as I believe those skills can be learnt) but the mere simple stuff which I believe is more applicable to ladies, can he get it up? Does he have a functioning penis?

Sounds very raw but it is a very honest question. Raised as a Christian, the bible teaches us to abstain from sex before marriage and I've known some girls/ladies who follow this to the T!

Is that still applicable in this current day? In biblical times, girls were married at such early ages leaving no room/little chances to "fornicate"

After hearing so many horror stories; it really makes me think twice. In two very recent situations, both men use the bible as a perfect excuse not to engage in sexual acts with their partners only for the wife to discover after the wedding ceremony, her husband simply can't get it up!!!!! The men (in both these situations) stated well, they have been through the process, the introduction, traditional wedding ceremony and they’ve taken the vows before God so this lady (the new wife) doesn't have a choice. I recently learnt they resort to tricks like pouring ice cold water on the penis to achieve a temporary erection which lasts long enough for penetration.

I’m sure this is not the only horror story of its kind out there out there but this is what I have recently heard

I digress, back to my question, do you believe in testing the goods prior to marriage????

I can only imagine the next question is, how many goods are you going to try before you meet The one and at what stage in the relationship do you test the goods? After testing the goods, if he is not the one then what next??????

What do you think? 

MY LOVE FOR FOOD VS MY PERFECT BODY PART 3

Hey dolls,

So its a year on and I'm sure y'll are wondering how I am doing with my weight loss challenge right?!?!?!?!?!?!? Well you will be pleased to know I've actually lost 7kg. Whoop Whoop I hear you saying.....

Don't get too excited about that as I have put on 5kg back. SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know. I feel the same way. Weight loss just seems like the hardest thing ever. Maybe because I am not disciplined enough. Maybe because I love food. O who knows!!!!! 

I've been quite disciplined in my gym approach but at the same time, I always feel I deserve a treat. ALOL (actually laughing out loud). 

Well according to evidence based research, if you have a "realistic" goals it makes it more achievable. So I have set mine for six months. Yeah, I know it does seem like a really long way away but its very realistic. I will be celebrating my 21st birthday and I'm super excited. I am also participating in race for life to raise money for charity so I actually have two goals. 

Here I go AGAIN. Hopefully next time I will have some exciting news to share. 

Will keep you posted 

Ciao bella xoxo

What's your "real" reason for hittin the gym?

I am sure most of y'll know my blog posts are usually generated following a conversation with someone who makes me stop in my tracks and ponder a thought for longer than a minute. With great joy, I fail to disappoint on this occasion as it does not differ.

Speaking with a colleague who is a gym junkie, Adele is in her mid forties but still loves working out. She is very beautiful with a well toned body many of us "teenagers" would could only aspire for.
During our conversation, she described how she gets her kick by watching others training and physically challenging them unbeknown to her opponent. "I get a thrill knowing they can't do what I'm doing". Obviously, my first reaction is "seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!?!".

How could that possibly do anything for her? She is the only person who knows she is having a competition/challenge. That confused me for a second, like obviously not everyone who trains in the gym are on the same workout levels.

This was followed by her need to wear make up to the gym. I mean a full face of make accompanied with blusher, yes the works!!!!!!! Now this is something I just do not understand and I've often tweeted about it.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not judging just that I really do not understand how this works and what could be the rationale for this. Do people wear make to the gym because of major insecurities or to attract attention from the opposite sex/ same sex (whatever works for you)?

I would NEVER list going to the gym as one of my hobbies with the exceptions of spin, zumba and badminton but due to my "fat genes and love for good food", I have no choice. The last thing I would be doing is going with a face full of make up or checking what others are doing. I try and focus on myself and gain momentum.

Which leads me to my next question. Do ladies really go to the gym to attract guys and get chatted up? Seriously? I couldn't imagine. During and after a proper workout, covered in sweat with a tangy odour (for my lack of a better term) standing and flirting with a guy. Sweat patches in places not normally acceptable, but as everyone has just seen me working it, its like who cares????? With all of that going on, being chatted up by a very cute guy with bulging biceps and pecs that has its own story, errrrrrrmmmmmm I just don't think so!!!!!!!

I know guys sweat as well but they look sexy, masculine and strong.........(the list can go on). Ladies, on the other hand, nah, not cute at all!!!!!!!

I go to the gym, usually minding my business unless if approached. I engage in the smallest talk ever (LOL), push myself to my limit and make a swift exit.

Am i just being anal? Is there something I'm missing. Should the gym be another place for meeting "cute" guys? Am I expected to flirt between abdominal crunches or while swinging my child bearing hips between the shoulder press and triceps machines???

Do I need to up my "A" game?

What dating rules?!?!?!?!?!?!

I was prompted to write this following a discussion with my aunt T. 

As many of you may know, I am a really girly girl down to a T!!! I love everything feminine and make no apologies for it. Not that I'm complaining. Once again, I hear myself deviating. So the story goes something like this. 

For a while my favourite aunt T, (not related by blood or anything but as a a true Nigerian, everyone who is more than five older than me automatically gets the aunt or uncle label as a sign of respect) tried to set me up with her son for ages. 

A little background about my aunt T. She is an amazing lady. The life and soul of any gathering. I promise anyone would love to have her as a mother in law. Aunt T is simply fabulous. 

My aunt applied many different techniques to "subtly" arrange a meeting with her son. Finally one day her wishes came to fruition and trust me I was not disappointed. Andy, (her son) was right up my street, tall, well built, beautiful sexy voice "a REAL man". Aunt T's excitement could not be contained. She was convinced we would "hook up" and live happily ever after. 

O boy, was she wrong. She could not be further from reality. LOL! The chemistry started and ended there. 

Aunt T constantly reminded me and wanted me to call him. I was adamant not to call him. I told aunt T, I was not about to start chasing a guy. I'm a very old skool kinda chick. I believe Andy's seen me and if he thinks I'm cute, hot, sexy, beautiful or just wanted to know me, he would make a move.....Right???????? I heard NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As to not drag out this story, Andy recently got married to another beautiful lady. They see very happy and I have no regrets at all. 

So my question is, Are there  no longer any rules to dating? Is it cool to chase and hunt guys down? I've always thought that was a bit desperate, forward, trying to be a man (role reversing). On the other hand, i do commend ladies who know what they want and go for it. I've been told I'm not a Nigerian babe as I would have hunted him down. There is something about that that just doesn't sit well with me. If you were in my shoes, would you have acted differently? As a lady, I enjoy the chase, to be sought after by a guy (for my lack of a better term). 

Am I old skool? Too traditional? Have the dating rules changed? Wondering, if they have changed, why was I not cc'd into that memo? 

INSOMNIA

Hey dolls (when I say dolls, I don't only mean ladie but I have been pulled up about it so...) and dudes, How are you coming along with your new years resolutions. I'm not doing very well :(

Well one of my new year resolutions was to attempt to sleep at least 6 hours daily. Four days into the new year and I'm already struggling. I think my one hundred years of being a student has messed up my sleeping and never gotten back to normal since. 

I get so jealous when people around me sleep for six-eight hours (the recommended norm) and my little sister sleeps for ten hours despite being a full grown adult. How do people do it? 

I've tried everything short of sedatives, from hot baths/shower before bed, hot chocolate, Camomile drink, lavender drops on my pillow but nothing seems to be working, hence why I am still up and blogging at this hour. 

Appealing for suggestions to get a good nights kip. Will try almost anything ;)

Looking forward to your suggestions and a good nights sleep.....

Till later 

Ciao xoxo

Race for life Challenge

Hey dolls, I'm back (whoop whoop I hear y'll saying) in an attempt to keep to my word, 

I recently lost a family member to cancer. I thought I was OK and dealing with it quite well until I watched Pat Evans's (from Eastenders for y'll who do not know who she is) battle with terminal cancer. This tore me to shreds and dashed my new years resolution of positivity right out of the window. I simply could not function. 

Having worked with patients who have cancer and even provided palliative care (caring for patients with a terminal disease with no cure), I thought I could deal with cancer. O boy was I wrong. You never truly know how your going to react to something until it slaps you in the face. 

After a whole day of crying, sore and swollen red eyes, I dug deep and tried to turn this negative experience into a positive. I have decided to take up the Race for Life challenge. YAY!!!!!!!!

Now I call it a challenge because as y'll already know, I'm not the healthiest person neither do I enjoy working out but have to as I have fat genes. OK I'm deviating again. 

I'm determined to complete this race whether I walk, jog or run and raise money for Cancer Research UK. I know my run is not a going to provide a cure for cancer instantly but I am very optimistic and supportive that one day we find a cure for cancer. 

I am also trying to recruit as many people as possible to participate in the race for life challenge as this should hopefully translate into more money raised for Cancer Research UK. 

I am awaiting the race for life dates from the official website http://raceforlife.cancerresearchuk.org/.

I will be back with an update once I have all the details about my race to employ you to participate or make a donation. 

Please note: Thoughts reflected in this post have not been endorsed by Race for Life. 

Will keep you posted...........

Ciao xoxo

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

Hey dolls,

Its that time of the year again. Xmas is almost well and truley over. We have stuffed our faces and if you are anything like me, gone way over your overdraft limit in the "January sales" (which really starts just after xmas). We made it guys, survived 2011 and safely crossed over to 2012. Amazing stuff hey!!!!!!!! 

I'm guessing most of us have new years resolutions, some of us write them down and others are mental resolutions but we all have a "list" of things we want to achieve or change in our lives. 

My list is almost as long as my arm. The thought of it sometimes confuses me and I think where do I start? #NoteToSelf  baby steps I here myself saying. 

Anyho, I digress,

We all have an opportunity to live like there is no tomorrow, love unconditionally with all our hearts, take risks while erasing thoughts of failure from our minds and always remain positive. I know this cliché has been used and abused but it could not be any more true......

"Where there's life, there's hope" So what's it going to be y'll

Make 2012 the best year of your life to date.

Till my next post, 

Ciao xoxo

Hey peeps! It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything. (I know I always say this.....blah blah blah). It doesn't mean I have stopped writing, just never having time to complete anything. Not a valid reason, I know!!!!!!!!

Over the last couple of weeks, I've truly experienced life as the roller coaster we always say it is. Many highs and even more lows but I thank God for taking me through the storm without loosing my mind. 

So I'm back. I would love to say with regular updates etc but as my track record has shown, that's not entirely true but I promise to try. 

Happy reading..............

Hugs and kisses 

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TODAY?

Stop and think for one minute. Stop and think about your life, your family, your friends...........

We (humans) are so consumed with the things we want and "need" such as a new car, a house, a new bag, new Christian Louboutins, a boyfriend, a holiday......the list is endless but when was the last time you actually just stopped and reflected on your life? When was the last time you stepped back for a second and was truly grateful for the here and now?

Waking up healthy every morning, is not a gift we necessarily deserve but some higher force grants you another day. Another day to right your wrongs, another day to be uber productive, another day to start working on the to do list you complied a while ago, another day to live life to the fullest. Question is what do you do with it?

Do you waste the day as per usual, tweeting facebook'in, BBM'in, gossiping on the phone or faffing around doing irrelevant, unimportant, unnecessary, insignificant and pointless things?

I'm also very guilty of not making the most of everyday and not being grateful for even having another day but today it hit me like a ton of bricks..........

Everyday we wake up, we are given another chance to live, to laugh, to love to smile, to just be.

What are you going to to do today?

I woke this morning and felt amazing. I felt refreshed and renewed, like a new woman. Maybe due to feeling a lot better or the fact that I actually managed to sleep for eight hours. Who knows. the amazing winter sun beaming through my apartment windows, made me jump out of bed. Carried out my usual routine, stepped into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I was not scared by what I saw but surprisingly, it was more the thoughts that went through my head. Life has been amazing (obviously could be a lot better but I dare not complain), but there was something that hit me like a ton of bricks........

January 2010, I had massive plans which were clearly mapped out. I wanted to do this, that and the other. Somewhere along the road I was seriously derailed and I have struggled to get back on the journey.......till this morning. So without further ado, I am very excited and yet petrified to roll out my new blog.......................(drum rolls), www.purse-candy.blogspot.com

Look forward to see y'll there.

Ciao xxx

Culture!!!!!

I'm originally from Nigeria but have grown up in London. Despite living in east London for pretty much twenty something years, I have been brought up with a typical Nigerian background which includes referring to anyone older than me by uncle/aunt even if I have only just met them. I totally love and embrace my culture. I love most of our ethics and morals as I feel it really has shaped me into who am I today. I love that I was taught to respect my elders, respect authority and simple manners (just to name a few). 

I absolutely love my culture with the exception of one area..........MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do i begin? In my culture, there is an unwritten but very well spoken age limit on marriage. Yes I know (I can hear you saying what crap)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a teenager, I always had the gentle reminder, "my dear, start getting ready, as soon as you finish your degree, you know what comes next?" Initially I would ask, and that is? As years went by and hearing it like a million and one times, I got the message LOUD and very clear!!!!!!!!

My question though is who set the age limit? What happens after you have passed the age limit? Is it the end of the world? Should I know jump off a bridge? Am I no longer eligible? Have I gone past my marriage before date? 

I feel so much is put into the "need" to be married by a certain age that we are never advised to live life to the fullest. There is no such thing as enjoying things that make you happy such as travelling, art, international shopping trips (HELLO) or whatever rocks your boat. It's all about marriage, marriage, marriage.

I wonder how many African parents actually teach their daughters to be amazing wives. I'm not talking about cooking and always being there for your husband but also the bits that might be uncomfortable for parents to talk about but are crucial in a marriage......Sex, keeping your partner happy. Being a good spouse in every sense of the word. 

I totally believe there is a whole lot more to life than marriage. I believe in getting to know oneself and developing who you really are. Understanding what you are comfortable with and being confident in who you are. I truly believe in marriage, as the icing on the cake and not something that needs to be done due to pressure or to validate you or to feel complete. 

Just my thoughts.

xoxo

MY LOVE FOR FOOD VS MY PERFECT BODY PART 2

So it's almost been a year since I joined the gym. Y'll know how that works, pumped with adrenaline and excitement, I was a gym freak for a while till I started to notice the weight loss then I became complacent AGAIN!!!!!!!

Summer came and passed and was still thinking I'm OK, eating what I wanted, when I wanted. Passed through the gym at times when I could be bothered until I had another of those those days.........only this time it was worse.

I rattled my brain as to how I was going to shift this excess weight again. Going to the gym had become a chore and was quite boring I'm honest. A friend suggested a personal trainer.

With reluctance, I took my friends advise and got myself a trainer. (SMH).
After the first few sessions, I would ache for days, worked muscles I never knew I existed.....LOL!!! It was a task to sit down or stand up but I felt amazing.

Obviously I have to work out on my own and push myself but it has been a huge bonus.

Don't get me wrong, I still have cheat days when all I want is a pecan pie and bad days when I feel screw this I'm going to have chip shop chips and a sausage in batter (I know, remember fat girl genes) but believe tomorrow will be a better day ;)

Still remains a struggle at times, my love of food vs my perfect body, but it gets easier as working out seems a bit more "fun"

Will keep you posted..........

It's a new day!!!!

Good morning and happy Sunday. I woke up feeling, OMD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have abandoned my blogs again. I have been so consumed with so many other things (not a valid excuse) and I find myself constantly procastinating. I've made a personal promise to this blog up to date (well it's very public now), LOL!!!!!!

Wishing y'll a beautiful sunday,

Ciao xxx

ARE YOU HAPPY BEING THE OTHER WOMAN?

I’ve just had a very intense conversation with a male friend of mine. I cannot recall how we got to talking about husband and partners cheating on their respective others. The issue was my friend did not approach it from this angle. My friend boldly stated “most women prefer to be with married men”. This got me thinking, why would any female want to be the other woman?
He was trying to convince me ladies prefer married men or men with partners to single guys. This instantly woke me up from my midday nap and actually rattled my cage. I thought and must have voiced I have never heard such crap in my life.
I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life, ok maybe I have but I mean seriously? Why would a lady prefer to share her man? Why would any female want to be the bit on the side? The one that has a part time partner and seeing him only at his convenience. Always spending stolen time at her house or in hotels because they don’t take them home, only to have him rush back to his wife and maybe children.
He gave me this rant about women always having their men cheat on them in a “monogamous” relationship whereas with guy who is already hooked up, “they both know the score”.
Speaking for myself and almost all the females I know from my mother, grandmother, aunties, cousins , friends and colleagues (you get my drift), I am yet to meet any who has feels comfortable to be the mistress, girlfriend or the bit on the side. Females usually want to be the only one. They like to believe he is my man (even if he is only boyfriend).
The only reasons I can think a woman is comfortable with being the only woman is if she is out for her material /selfish gains, circumstances which definitely would include low self esteem or a victim of the situation.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about ladies who initially do not know that he has a partner or is married. I’m thinking of ladies who get involved in these relationships knowing he is with someone.
Is it us ladies do not know our worth? Do woman engage in such acts to pass time or gain attention? I clearly do not understand, maybe I’m old skool. My ultimate question to these ladies, are you genuinely happy being the woman?

It's been a hot minute!!!!!!!!

I know I have totally abandoned my blog for a while, been extremely busy with work and life!!! Well I'm back with a vengeance....

Enjoy reading and please feel free to leave comments and feedback.

Ciao xxx

MY LOVE FOR FOOD VS MY PERFECT BODY

As much as I love food especially fast food, Indian take outs, Chinese, subway and of course MacDonald’s just to name a few it clearly was not doing anything for my figure and I guess my health. Instead I found my trousers getting tighter and skirts just not zipping up but yet I could not separate myself from food. I eat when I’m hungry and even when I’m not. I eat when bored and even just because I can afford a luxurious calorie laden dinner at a swanky restaurant. Unfortunately for me, I have fat genes and there is no denying or making excuses for that.
I eventually hit my all time low. I was getting ready for a wedding on a beautiful Saturday morning and I could not find a decent outfit that fitted and looked flattering on my recently discovered “curvilicious figure”. I realised, I could no longer cover the lumps with loose tops or suck everything in with ultra fitted pencil skirts. I slumped on my bedroom floor, half the contents of my wardrobe scattered all over the floor and on my bed, evidence of my failed attempts to find the perfect outfit. NOTHING FITTED!!!!!
I had a moment of depression, very close to having a full on cry, it dawned on me that crying was not going to help neither solve the problem. That was it; I decided I was going to join the gym (which I had been procrastinating about forever). I took myself to my local fitness first and signed up straight away. Instantly feeling so much better as I had a plan. At that moment, I knew it was all going to be ok!!!!!!
Two weeks later having worked out almost every single day and eating SO healthy (yep that does mean no take always or fast food) I’m starting to see results. I promised I would not torture myself by trying on my old clothes but this morning, I could not resist. I threw on my size 12 top shop Bette jeans and they fit like a glove with no love handles/muffin tops.....AMAZING!!!!!!
Sunday morning and I have just finished a gruesome class of body combat. It suddenly hits me.....I’m tired and every muscle in my body aches but it is all worth it!!

Twenty something knocking on thirty’s door.

After a very long day at work, I’m sitting alone in my living room, having dinner made for one. I’m flooded with thoughts or should is say questions. Thoughts and questions which no one really has the answers for. Thoughts which make me wonder what’s happening. Questions which include when, where and who? Thoughts which make me question myself, my thought process and actions over and over again and at times, keeps me up at night. All these thoughts and questions, occupying my mind with no answer.
To me, it seems like it might be a million dollar question with no obvious answer. So I guess you are wondering what the question is. Why am I single? Why does it seem so challenging and difficult to meet decent good looking guys?
Maybe the question should be, what qualities do men require in ladies? What are guys actually looking for? What are their thought processes when picking a female companion, girlfriend and wife? What are the essential requirements?
Yes I know I have detoured slightly but that is because, I along with many of my female friends am single. My friends and I are all very well educated (yet very humble about our education), beautiful, sexy, some us of even modelesque, independent and with good jobs. Yet, we are all single........
What am I missing? What am I not doing or overdoing? What needs to give? Being a single twenty something knocking on thirty’s door, it dawns on me that maybe I have no idea what a man wants and needs?
What do you think?

Taking the bull by the horns

So I Have finally decided to bite the bullet and create my first blog. I have danced around this for a very long time but here goes.......my very first blog. Thinking about it now, don’t know how I am going to be able to squeeze it into my already very tight schedule but one thing I am sure of, where there is a will there is a way. So here goes, happy reading..........