Culture!!!!!

I'm originally from Nigeria but have grown up in London. Despite living in east London for pretty much twenty something years, I have been brought up with a typical Nigerian background which includes referring to anyone older than me by uncle/aunt even if I have only just met them. I totally love and embrace my culture. I love most of our ethics and morals as I feel it really has shaped me into who am I today. I love that I was taught to respect my elders, respect authority and simple manners (just to name a few). 

I absolutely love my culture with the exception of one area..........MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do i begin? In my culture, there is an unwritten but very well spoken age limit on marriage. Yes I know (I can hear you saying what crap)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a teenager, I always had the gentle reminder, "my dear, start getting ready, as soon as you finish your degree, you know what comes next?" Initially I would ask, and that is? As years went by and hearing it like a million and one times, I got the message LOUD and very clear!!!!!!!!

My question though is who set the age limit? What happens after you have passed the age limit? Is it the end of the world? Should I know jump off a bridge? Am I no longer eligible? Have I gone past my marriage before date? 

I feel so much is put into the "need" to be married by a certain age that we are never advised to live life to the fullest. There is no such thing as enjoying things that make you happy such as travelling, art, international shopping trips (HELLO) or whatever rocks your boat. It's all about marriage, marriage, marriage.

I wonder how many African parents actually teach their daughters to be amazing wives. I'm not talking about cooking and always being there for your husband but also the bits that might be uncomfortable for parents to talk about but are crucial in a marriage......Sex, keeping your partner happy. Being a good spouse in every sense of the word. 

I totally believe there is a whole lot more to life than marriage. I believe in getting to know oneself and developing who you really are. Understanding what you are comfortable with and being confident in who you are. I truly believe in marriage, as the icing on the cake and not something that needs to be done due to pressure or to validate you or to feel complete. 

Just my thoughts.

xoxo