Hey peeps! It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything. (I know I always say this.....blah blah blah). It doesn't mean I have stopped writing, just never having time to complete anything. Not a valid reason, I know!!!!!!!!

Over the last couple of weeks, I've truly experienced life as the roller coaster we always say it is. Many highs and even more lows but I thank God for taking me through the storm without loosing my mind. 

So I'm back. I would love to say with regular updates etc but as my track record has shown, that's not entirely true but I promise to try. 

Happy reading..............

Hugs and kisses 

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TODAY?

Stop and think for one minute. Stop and think about your life, your family, your friends...........

We (humans) are so consumed with the things we want and "need" such as a new car, a house, a new bag, new Christian Louboutins, a boyfriend, a holiday......the list is endless but when was the last time you actually just stopped and reflected on your life? When was the last time you stepped back for a second and was truly grateful for the here and now?

Waking up healthy every morning, is not a gift we necessarily deserve but some higher force grants you another day. Another day to right your wrongs, another day to be uber productive, another day to start working on the to do list you complied a while ago, another day to live life to the fullest. Question is what do you do with it?

Do you waste the day as per usual, tweeting facebook'in, BBM'in, gossiping on the phone or faffing around doing irrelevant, unimportant, unnecessary, insignificant and pointless things?

I'm also very guilty of not making the most of everyday and not being grateful for even having another day but today it hit me like a ton of bricks..........

Everyday we wake up, we are given another chance to live, to laugh, to love to smile, to just be.

What are you going to to do today?

I woke this morning and felt amazing. I felt refreshed and renewed, like a new woman. Maybe due to feeling a lot better or the fact that I actually managed to sleep for eight hours. Who knows. the amazing winter sun beaming through my apartment windows, made me jump out of bed. Carried out my usual routine, stepped into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I was not scared by what I saw but surprisingly, it was more the thoughts that went through my head. Life has been amazing (obviously could be a lot better but I dare not complain), but there was something that hit me like a ton of bricks........

January 2010, I had massive plans which were clearly mapped out. I wanted to do this, that and the other. Somewhere along the road I was seriously derailed and I have struggled to get back on the journey.......till this morning. So without further ado, I am very excited and yet petrified to roll out my new blog.......................(drum rolls), www.purse-candy.blogspot.com

Look forward to see y'll there.

Ciao xxx

Culture!!!!!

I'm originally from Nigeria but have grown up in London. Despite living in east London for pretty much twenty something years, I have been brought up with a typical Nigerian background which includes referring to anyone older than me by uncle/aunt even if I have only just met them. I totally love and embrace my culture. I love most of our ethics and morals as I feel it really has shaped me into who am I today. I love that I was taught to respect my elders, respect authority and simple manners (just to name a few). 

I absolutely love my culture with the exception of one area..........MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do i begin? In my culture, there is an unwritten but very well spoken age limit on marriage. Yes I know (I can hear you saying what crap)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a teenager, I always had the gentle reminder, "my dear, start getting ready, as soon as you finish your degree, you know what comes next?" Initially I would ask, and that is? As years went by and hearing it like a million and one times, I got the message LOUD and very clear!!!!!!!!

My question though is who set the age limit? What happens after you have passed the age limit? Is it the end of the world? Should I know jump off a bridge? Am I no longer eligible? Have I gone past my marriage before date? 

I feel so much is put into the "need" to be married by a certain age that we are never advised to live life to the fullest. There is no such thing as enjoying things that make you happy such as travelling, art, international shopping trips (HELLO) or whatever rocks your boat. It's all about marriage, marriage, marriage.

I wonder how many African parents actually teach their daughters to be amazing wives. I'm not talking about cooking and always being there for your husband but also the bits that might be uncomfortable for parents to talk about but are crucial in a marriage......Sex, keeping your partner happy. Being a good spouse in every sense of the word. 

I totally believe there is a whole lot more to life than marriage. I believe in getting to know oneself and developing who you really are. Understanding what you are comfortable with and being confident in who you are. I truly believe in marriage, as the icing on the cake and not something that needs to be done due to pressure or to validate you or to feel complete. 

Just my thoughts.

xoxo

MY LOVE FOR FOOD VS MY PERFECT BODY PART 2

So it's almost been a year since I joined the gym. Y'll know how that works, pumped with adrenaline and excitement, I was a gym freak for a while till I started to notice the weight loss then I became complacent AGAIN!!!!!!!

Summer came and passed and was still thinking I'm OK, eating what I wanted, when I wanted. Passed through the gym at times when I could be bothered until I had another of those those days.........only this time it was worse.

I rattled my brain as to how I was going to shift this excess weight again. Going to the gym had become a chore and was quite boring I'm honest. A friend suggested a personal trainer.

With reluctance, I took my friends advise and got myself a trainer. (SMH).
After the first few sessions, I would ache for days, worked muscles I never knew I existed.....LOL!!! It was a task to sit down or stand up but I felt amazing.

Obviously I have to work out on my own and push myself but it has been a huge bonus.

Don't get me wrong, I still have cheat days when all I want is a pecan pie and bad days when I feel screw this I'm going to have chip shop chips and a sausage in batter (I know, remember fat girl genes) but believe tomorrow will be a better day ;)

Still remains a struggle at times, my love of food vs my perfect body, but it gets easier as working out seems a bit more "fun"

Will keep you posted..........

It's a new day!!!!

Good morning and happy Sunday. I woke up feeling, OMD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have abandoned my blogs again. I have been so consumed with so many other things (not a valid excuse) and I find myself constantly procastinating. I've made a personal promise to this blog up to date (well it's very public now), LOL!!!!!!

Wishing y'll a beautiful sunday,

Ciao xxx

ARE YOU HAPPY BEING THE OTHER WOMAN?

I’ve just had a very intense conversation with a male friend of mine. I cannot recall how we got to talking about husband and partners cheating on their respective others. The issue was my friend did not approach it from this angle. My friend boldly stated “most women prefer to be with married men”. This got me thinking, why would any female want to be the other woman?
He was trying to convince me ladies prefer married men or men with partners to single guys. This instantly woke me up from my midday nap and actually rattled my cage. I thought and must have voiced I have never heard such crap in my life.
I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life, ok maybe I have but I mean seriously? Why would a lady prefer to share her man? Why would any female want to be the bit on the side? The one that has a part time partner and seeing him only at his convenience. Always spending stolen time at her house or in hotels because they don’t take them home, only to have him rush back to his wife and maybe children.
He gave me this rant about women always having their men cheat on them in a “monogamous” relationship whereas with guy who is already hooked up, “they both know the score”.
Speaking for myself and almost all the females I know from my mother, grandmother, aunties, cousins , friends and colleagues (you get my drift), I am yet to meet any who has feels comfortable to be the mistress, girlfriend or the bit on the side. Females usually want to be the only one. They like to believe he is my man (even if he is only boyfriend).
The only reasons I can think a woman is comfortable with being the only woman is if she is out for her material /selfish gains, circumstances which definitely would include low self esteem or a victim of the situation.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about ladies who initially do not know that he has a partner or is married. I’m thinking of ladies who get involved in these relationships knowing he is with someone.
Is it us ladies do not know our worth? Do woman engage in such acts to pass time or gain attention? I clearly do not understand, maybe I’m old skool. My ultimate question to these ladies, are you genuinely happy being the woman?