I woke this morning and felt amazing. I felt refreshed and renewed, like a new woman. Maybe due to feeling a lot better or the fact that I actually managed to sleep for eight hours. Who knows. the amazing winter sun beaming through my apartment windows, made me jump out of bed. Carried out my usual routine, stepped into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I was not scared by what I saw but surprisingly, it was more the thoughts that went through my head. Life has been amazing (obviously could be a lot better but I dare not complain), but there was something that hit me like a ton of bricks........

January 2010, I had massive plans which were clearly mapped out. I wanted to do this, that and the other. Somewhere along the road I was seriously derailed and I have struggled to get back on the journey.......till this morning. So without further ado, I am very excited and yet petrified to roll out my new blog.......................(drum rolls), www.purse-candy.blogspot.com

Look forward to see y'll there.

Ciao xxx

Culture!!!!!

I'm originally from Nigeria but have grown up in London. Despite living in east London for pretty much twenty something years, I have been brought up with a typical Nigerian background which includes referring to anyone older than me by uncle/aunt even if I have only just met them. I totally love and embrace my culture. I love most of our ethics and morals as I feel it really has shaped me into who am I today. I love that I was taught to respect my elders, respect authority and simple manners (just to name a few). 

I absolutely love my culture with the exception of one area..........MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where do i begin? In my culture, there is an unwritten but very well spoken age limit on marriage. Yes I know (I can hear you saying what crap)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a teenager, I always had the gentle reminder, "my dear, start getting ready, as soon as you finish your degree, you know what comes next?" Initially I would ask, and that is? As years went by and hearing it like a million and one times, I got the message LOUD and very clear!!!!!!!!

My question though is who set the age limit? What happens after you have passed the age limit? Is it the end of the world? Should I know jump off a bridge? Am I no longer eligible? Have I gone past my marriage before date? 

I feel so much is put into the "need" to be married by a certain age that we are never advised to live life to the fullest. There is no such thing as enjoying things that make you happy such as travelling, art, international shopping trips (HELLO) or whatever rocks your boat. It's all about marriage, marriage, marriage.

I wonder how many African parents actually teach their daughters to be amazing wives. I'm not talking about cooking and always being there for your husband but also the bits that might be uncomfortable for parents to talk about but are crucial in a marriage......Sex, keeping your partner happy. Being a good spouse in every sense of the word. 

I totally believe there is a whole lot more to life than marriage. I believe in getting to know oneself and developing who you really are. Understanding what you are comfortable with and being confident in who you are. I truly believe in marriage, as the icing on the cake and not something that needs to be done due to pressure or to validate you or to feel complete. 

Just my thoughts.

xoxo

MY LOVE FOR FOOD VS MY PERFECT BODY PART 2

So it's almost been a year since I joined the gym. Y'll know how that works, pumped with adrenaline and excitement, I was a gym freak for a while till I started to notice the weight loss then I became complacent AGAIN!!!!!!!

Summer came and passed and was still thinking I'm OK, eating what I wanted, when I wanted. Passed through the gym at times when I could be bothered until I had another of those those days.........only this time it was worse.

I rattled my brain as to how I was going to shift this excess weight again. Going to the gym had become a chore and was quite boring I'm honest. A friend suggested a personal trainer.

With reluctance, I took my friends advise and got myself a trainer. (SMH).
After the first few sessions, I would ache for days, worked muscles I never knew I existed.....LOL!!! It was a task to sit down or stand up but I felt amazing.

Obviously I have to work out on my own and push myself but it has been a huge bonus.

Don't get me wrong, I still have cheat days when all I want is a pecan pie and bad days when I feel screw this I'm going to have chip shop chips and a sausage in batter (I know, remember fat girl genes) but believe tomorrow will be a better day ;)

Still remains a struggle at times, my love of food vs my perfect body, but it gets easier as working out seems a bit more "fun"

Will keep you posted..........

It's a new day!!!!

Good morning and happy Sunday. I woke up feeling, OMD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have abandoned my blogs again. I have been so consumed with so many other things (not a valid excuse) and I find myself constantly procastinating. I've made a personal promise to this blog up to date (well it's very public now), LOL!!!!!!

Wishing y'll a beautiful sunday,

Ciao xxx

ARE YOU HAPPY BEING THE OTHER WOMAN?

I’ve just had a very intense conversation with a male friend of mine. I cannot recall how we got to talking about husband and partners cheating on their respective others. The issue was my friend did not approach it from this angle. My friend boldly stated “most women prefer to be with married men”. This got me thinking, why would any female want to be the other woman?
He was trying to convince me ladies prefer married men or men with partners to single guys. This instantly woke me up from my midday nap and actually rattled my cage. I thought and must have voiced I have never heard such crap in my life.
I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life, ok maybe I have but I mean seriously? Why would a lady prefer to share her man? Why would any female want to be the bit on the side? The one that has a part time partner and seeing him only at his convenience. Always spending stolen time at her house or in hotels because they don’t take them home, only to have him rush back to his wife and maybe children.
He gave me this rant about women always having their men cheat on them in a “monogamous” relationship whereas with guy who is already hooked up, “they both know the score”.
Speaking for myself and almost all the females I know from my mother, grandmother, aunties, cousins , friends and colleagues (you get my drift), I am yet to meet any who has feels comfortable to be the mistress, girlfriend or the bit on the side. Females usually want to be the only one. They like to believe he is my man (even if he is only boyfriend).
The only reasons I can think a woman is comfortable with being the only woman is if she is out for her material /selfish gains, circumstances which definitely would include low self esteem or a victim of the situation.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about ladies who initially do not know that he has a partner or is married. I’m thinking of ladies who get involved in these relationships knowing he is with someone.
Is it us ladies do not know our worth? Do woman engage in such acts to pass time or gain attention? I clearly do not understand, maybe I’m old skool. My ultimate question to these ladies, are you genuinely happy being the woman?

It's been a hot minute!!!!!!!!

I know I have totally abandoned my blog for a while, been extremely busy with work and life!!! Well I'm back with a vengeance....

Enjoy reading and please feel free to leave comments and feedback.

Ciao xxx

MY LOVE FOR FOOD VS MY PERFECT BODY

As much as I love food especially fast food, Indian take outs, Chinese, subway and of course MacDonald’s just to name a few it clearly was not doing anything for my figure and I guess my health. Instead I found my trousers getting tighter and skirts just not zipping up but yet I could not separate myself from food. I eat when I’m hungry and even when I’m not. I eat when bored and even just because I can afford a luxurious calorie laden dinner at a swanky restaurant. Unfortunately for me, I have fat genes and there is no denying or making excuses for that.
I eventually hit my all time low. I was getting ready for a wedding on a beautiful Saturday morning and I could not find a decent outfit that fitted and looked flattering on my recently discovered “curvilicious figure”. I realised, I could no longer cover the lumps with loose tops or suck everything in with ultra fitted pencil skirts. I slumped on my bedroom floor, half the contents of my wardrobe scattered all over the floor and on my bed, evidence of my failed attempts to find the perfect outfit. NOTHING FITTED!!!!!
I had a moment of depression, very close to having a full on cry, it dawned on me that crying was not going to help neither solve the problem. That was it; I decided I was going to join the gym (which I had been procrastinating about forever). I took myself to my local fitness first and signed up straight away. Instantly feeling so much better as I had a plan. At that moment, I knew it was all going to be ok!!!!!!
Two weeks later having worked out almost every single day and eating SO healthy (yep that does mean no take always or fast food) I’m starting to see results. I promised I would not torture myself by trying on my old clothes but this morning, I could not resist. I threw on my size 12 top shop Bette jeans and they fit like a glove with no love handles/muffin tops.....AMAZING!!!!!!
Sunday morning and I have just finished a gruesome class of body combat. It suddenly hits me.....I’m tired and every muscle in my body aches but it is all worth it!!